10 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. How many times do we look at our neighbor, moms at play group, classmate, coworker, and complete strangers and think, 'I wish I had that,' 'looked liked that,' 'had that money,' 'had that job.' Insert whatever it is you feel you lack. The point is we constantly compare ourselves with all these people in the world that we may or may not know. It's really hard to look in at your own attributes and blessings when your eyes are always scanning outward. I challenge you to think of 3 positive things in your own life when you find that little green monster sneaking out. Train your mind to immediately think of your own cozy home, hourglass figure, healthy children, helpful spouse....find your happiness.

2. Do something everyday that makes you happy. Love to craft? Fish? Read? Even if only for 15 minutes take the time to do it. No excuses, no exceptions. It doesn't have to be the same thing every day. Get up 15 minutes early or go to bed later. You will be so glad you did. We get so wrapped up in doing what others want/need that we push ourselves to the back. Stop. You do it for you and that's that.

3. Set boundaries and enforce them. This can be in any area of your life and the point is to create a safe circle around yourself. You can't be the best you until you have a set of rules and boundaries that protect your values and morals. Think of it as your house. You live in your house. Your children live in your house. Your spouse or significant other lives in your house. The house has a door and only those you feel comfortable letting in get an invite. You can leave you house and go to someone else's house, but at the end of the day you go back to your house and it's inhabitants. In-laws, co-workers, family, friends, neighbors.....it applies to everyone.

4. Eat healthy. Feed your body with what it needs to function at it's optimal level. Like a vehicle it needs the right fuel to run right. We've all heard the old saying You are what you eat. We have one body, one life. Do not get into the habit of thinking 'Oh I'm young, I'll eat healthy later,' or 'But I'm pregnant and hungry all the time,' or my husband, 'I'm skinny, pass the Pepsi.' Not only will you not be happy with the way your jeans fit, but your heart won't be happy with having to work extra hard to do it's job. Check out my kid-tested, budget-friendly recipes!

5. Be physically active. GET OUTSIDE! I can not stress this enough. Cold? Put a coat on. Hot? Sweat. Find something you enjoy and do it. And I mean even if it's only around the block for a stroll. Sit outside for your morning brew. If you have a disability that prohibits this, then open a window. Fresh air is the best form of medicine in my opinion. Instant mood booster. Check out my Insta page for ideas with the kids!

6. Start the day by saying 3 positive things about yourself. Before you leave you bed. It can be out loud, to yourself, in a journal, on your phone, to your dog....I don't care how you do it. Everyone has at least 3 things they like about themselves- and if you don't, sit down right now....no really, stop reading....and figure them out. It can be simple- hair color, fashion sense, best morel finder, always on time. This isn't bragging, so don't get your humble pants in a bunch. This is an inward, self-reflection on the things you like about you. Bragging example: My car is newer than Joes. Self-love: My singing voice is lovely and easy on the ears.

7. Disconnect from negativity. Literally if need be. unplug the Wi-Fi, close the Facebook account, take a break from your coffee group, stop going to bowling, cancel the trip to the in-laws. Wherever you are finding your anxiety level being tested, just take some time and think about the impact it's having. Is it worth it? Can it be avoided? Are you just a glutton for punishment? Remember- you need to do what's healthy for you. This can be extremely difficult to do as we are creatures of habit. Ask yourself 'How is this contributing to my health and happiness?' If it's not you might want to consider cutting ties completely and if that seems to much maybe do a trial. Trust me on this one.

8. Communicate your needs. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors in failed relationships. Friendships, marriages, family, business- you name it, it applies. It simply boils down to we are not mind readers and nor are we telepathic. If you want your needs known, say them. If it's easier for you to write them down, start with that. I'm not opposed to letters, texts, or emails as a starting point. Be polite and respectful, yet clear and concise. I do not think this should be the primary form of communication nor should it be the only form. For more on this please consider looking into my packages for coaching.

9. Do not settle. Do no settle for others treating you anything less than what you deserve. In case you aren't aware of what that is let me help. If it's hurtful- emotionally or physically, it's unacceptable. If it makes you doubt yourself, it's unacceptable. Do you feel fulfilled at the end of the day? Just doing things because it's the way it's always been done? Scared to try that thing you really want to do? We have one life- what are you doing with yours?

10. Take a break. 10 minutes or 10 days. Take it. All work and no fun....you know the rest. And some I can't write here! Mama sit down- dishes will wait, laundry will wait, the babies will be fine (put them in a safe place if need be). Plan a vacation and take it. If this applies to less literal aspects of your life then apply it. I know I find myself just needing to step back and recenter myself. It's so easy to get caught up in getting through the day that we don't even enjoy our day. If your feet hurt sit down and put them up. If you are mentally exhausted go to a quiet place and close your eyes. You decide how big that break needs to be. Life is not meant to be work, work, work. Check out my guide to keeping a clean home without always working on it!

#selfacceptance #lifestyle